Thoughts for a Sunday...

Strangers in the Night

I had a dream last night. More like a nightmare. Although. I can't really remember any of it, quite honestly.

Nonetheless, I know it ended with me waking up, and someone suddenly grabbing my arm. (Or maybe someone grabbed my arm, and then I woke up?) Either way. It was freakishly realistic. I felt it.

First instinct, I jumped out of bed, shaking. For the split second that i stood there, all I could think was that someone had to be under my bed. I thought about turning on the light to confirm, but the thought of actually finding someone kinda terrified me to an exponential degree. So. I turned and ran to the bathroom instead, locking the door behind me. I sat there, trying to decide what to do...and going back into my bedroom was not sounding like an option. Keep the door locked and sleep on the floor until morning? Go get my room mate? Head for the door and go sleep in my car? The problem with these solutions, is that they all required me to open the bathroom door, and the possibilty that there was someone on the other side, just waiting for me, kept me from moving, or breathing, or flushing the toilet...much less walking out.

I kept telling myself that it was a dream, as lifelike as it seemed. No one was there. No one had snuck into my room. No one was hiding under my bed. Nothing was going to happen. But I couldn't get my heart to slow down and agree with me, or my fear to subside (I'm pretty sure the repercussions of watching "Lost" episodes until 12:30 am) I couldn't convice myself that I had dreamt the whole thing. It didn't feel like a dream.

So I prayed. I prayed that my heart would reach an understanding with my head. I prayed that my imagination would control itself. I prayed for strength; I prayed for comfort. And I prayed for courage. It took me 20 minutes, but I finally managed to calmly make it back into my bed...(after a thorough investigation of my apartment and my bedroom, of course)... I needed help, and I knew it was okay to ask, as ridiculous as it sounded. I knew he would be there for me, because I needed him, and it's always okay to need him, no matter the circumstance.